I’m already experiencing some of that “birth amnesia” I’ve heard so much about, so I figure I should write Tes’s birth story down.
Since I hit the 37 week mark and was told that she was ‘full term’ I was ready to have her OUT! We had the trip to Orlando behind us so I was doing a few things to help her along. Pushing it harder on my Sunday runs, doing more jumping during Insanity class than I had in the previous months. I was worried (and was being inundated with stories) that she would not only not come early, but she might actually come LATE and I’d have to stay pregnant for another MONTH! This would mean (among other things) her getting even bigger and therefore more difficult to get out 😳.
Ryan was in the throes of writing an NIH postdoctoral fellowship application with a professor that he REALLY wants to work with so he wasn’t as keen on her coming out early as I was and basically refused to have sex with me for nearly two weeks, because I let it slip that “the best way to get her out, was the same way we got her in” 😉.
Well, Thursday night he finally caved (I think seeing me SO uncomfortable made him feel guilty lol) and so I took that as an opportunity to use all the tricks I could muster. I took a triple dose of melatonin, tried the nip stimulation with my pump, and stayed away from blue light as much as possible. Sure enough around midnight I started feeling little crampies; nothing as bad as period cramps though, but since they were happening kind of regularly I texted my doula and birth photographer just in case. They kept waking me up periodically until around 5am but then I fell asleep and when I woke up at 8 they were gone 😭.
It was a rainy overcast day, perfect for netflix and chilling with my dog so I decided not to go into work Friday, my big project was finished and I didn’t have much to do anyway, so I didn’t feel too guilty. The “crampies” came back sometime that morning and at 12:10 I had my first ‘legit’ feeling contraction, but I still didn’t know if it was “real” or if I was just a wimp lol, at 12:30 I texted my doula, midwife, and birth photographer as a heads up that something *might* be happening and by 12:45 I knew shit was going down. Ryan was having an exceptionally tough day, and had lab meeting at noon so I did my very best to hold off on having him come home, but that only lasted like 45 minutes.
We left for the hospital around 3, and omfg that was the longest 20 minutes of my life! I think I had a contraction every effing minute. Poor Ryan was trying his best to just keep calm and get us there safely, and here I was SCREAMING the entire time.
We got to the hospital and I had a contraction in the parking lot, one at the security desk, one in the elevator, and two or three at the check in desk. 😳
They got me back to triage really quickly and when the checked me I was already 6cm, so yay I got a room right away; and I decided that the fact that I was able to hold out that long meant I wasn’t a total wimp 😜.
The nurses kept trying to get me to put a gown on but I was not having it lol. Ryan told me that our nurse actually followed behind me on the way to my room with a towel so I wasn’t flashing everyone 😂😂
As soon as we got to the room the nurse started filling up the tub then told me she had to put in an IV and do ten minutes of monitoring the baby’s heart rate before I could get in 😭
I have a pretty dramatic response to needles, but the contractions were so bad that the IV wasn’t as bad as I expected; I’m mean yes, I did scream and freak out but it wasn’t SOOO terrible.
Best moment though was getting into that tub, the water was hot and there were massaging jets 😍😍😍
My doula showed up within minutes of me getting into the tub and it seriously felt like I was just surviving, those contractions were fucking brutal. There were times where there was no break in between contractions and I would get so angry because “I was told I would get a BREAK!” Lol. The poor nurse was so sweet; there was a point where I asked if she would take the monitors off me because they were really annoying so she literally held them on me by hand for like ten minutes at a time ❤️❤️❤️.
There was a point where the contractions changed from just pain, to something ‘else’ and it was as if I had no control over what was happening and my body like *wanted* to push. It was soooo weird.
So they had me get out of the tub, and of course I had a contraction while I was halfway out 😫
I had them put a towel down on the floor because for some reason I really really didn’t want to have to climb up onto a bed; and the thought of being on a solid surface instead of a soft bed was much more appealing.
I should mention that the midwife on call that night was the ONE of the four from the practice that I didn’t like; and that our main MW was driving back from Atlanta in a rainstorm 😭
When I got down on my hands and knees the MW asked “are you sure this is where you want to have your baby”!?!? Like yes bitch, if it wasn’t then I would be doing this shit somewhere else! 🙄
I was pushing, and it felt good to be “doing” something instead of just being in pain. The hands and knees position felt great, and I was making progress; but my knees started hurting so I thought I’d give the bed a try. Had a couple of contractions on my walk across the room which were terrible and had another one while I was halfway on, I swear to god they were happening every like 30 seconds at that point.
When I finally got up the mw wanted me to try pushing on my back, which was terrible. It wasn’t more painful or anything it was just difficult to use my muscles properly, she kept telling me to grab behind my legs and curl my body to push, but it was NOT happening. I really really hated being told how and when to push, it was not encouraging it just felt like getting yelled at. After a bit I said, ‘this is not working’ and my doula suggested I turn on my side and try. I did a few pushes on my side but no. So I asked if I could get on my knees and I heard the midwife try and say no but my doula was like ‘ya sure lets try that’ lol so I guess hands and knees really works for me. The MW was STILL yelling at me to push harder and push through the pain and all that shit which was suuuuuper annoying then she pulled some bullshit and threatened to give me an episiotomy if I didn’t get her out in the next push; and I was thinking “um, fuck no”. So ya, I got her out in the next push but I was fucking pissed. That shit huuurt. Thankfully I got away with only a teeny tear.
After I turned over and they handed her to me I could not believe what had just happened, all I could think was “holy shit”; she still didn’t seem real.
I’m a mom. 😳
She was born at 7:47 pm, only ~8 hours of pain, but omfg it was a LOT of pain. I don’t know if I could go through that again. But she’s awesome, and totally worth it. ❤️